somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight, someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight. somewhere out there, someone's saying a prayer that we'll find one another in a big somewhere out there and even though i know how very far apart we are, it helps to think we might be wishing on the same white star and when the night decides to sing in lues of lullaby it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky somewhere out there if love can see us through then when we're together somewhere out there, our dreams come through...
one of my very fav song... the mouse version... makes me go all fuzzy inside... makes me suddenly believe in a kind of magic that i have long since forgotten since i was a kid...
i'm dead beat! sheesh... didn't noe job searching so damn hard... anyway found a temp job till 14 Jan... after that it's shopping and studying for SAT then looking for work again... my job's kinda weird but the pay's darn good and very short hours but weird hours...
schedule... every tue to fri working at 6-9.30pm... sat at 3-6pm and sun at 6-9.30pm... mondays' off cept on 22 coz replace the 24 and 31 that's holiday eves... yea~ then can party the night away... and i'll get around $960 by the time i finish not counting comission... so... it'll be around 1000+ bucks... am wondering whether to go for the loreal hair dye job interview tml since i'm chosen... pay also not bad at 1000 bucks basic not counting comission... con is that it's whole month of Jan not counting the two days off for new year and it's at 12-8pm! coz only monday off... i'll be like sooooooooo no life... coz later new year cannot go to pple's house and play or go and visit houses... plus no day dates... sianz... so i've decided maybe to only go for the interview and see how... haiz... dunno...
just noe one thing for sure... am definately not able to get cash before christmas... wat am i gonna do??????
figured out somethings... not as bad as i thought so my guard's sorta down coz no cause at all... sorry had to broach this weird topic like in the middle of the night to him when he was already suffering from insomnia... hope it doesn't make things more diff for him... i'll feel so guilty and bad if it did...
but on the second hand, it feels do darn good to have things sorted out coz if not i would have felt so repressed... realised in a way i misunderstood him... yea~... so am going to be more understanding in future... well... for wat matters, i'll try ok! shouldn't ply him with more problems... bad girl! (referring to me lah! dun think too far!) coz i'm like so inconsiderate... haiz...
will stop now coz i have wake up very early at 8 tml... well... it's torture to me coz i gonna have to force myself outta bed... sheesh... *sobz* wei ah wei! >-<
am happy today coz could meet him for a bit longer... it just seems so long ago... maybe 3 months or 4 months ago that we did really go on a PROPER date that like is more of leisure type... not this type of kinda rushed and tired one coz he's just too exhausted from work... wat to do... guess i'll have to like stay contented... it's not as if i have a choice...he has too many friends and let's just say 24 hrs per day is not enough for everyone and priority's not a choice though he's already trying...
told him about the dream... didn't exactly talked things out and didn't expect to have so little response... but then again, diff thinking coz to him, maybe it's like ridiculous to him but to me... think he won't be able to understand totally... not that i'm complaining... it's just i feel kinda frustrated in a way coz it's a sensitive topic that i think we both wanna avoid but still... somehow, it'll still be there... guess i'll just take step by step... anyway, no one said that a relationship would be smooth-sailing... wei said something to me... most pple dun last long coz pple change along the way and their other half sometimes just cannot take it... guess i understand that... it's like already 2 years plus... maybe this will be the worst that we have to weather through and after that, hopefully less nightmarish things will happen? i dunno... i'm crossing my fingers...
had a long day today... met wei in the morning to go for job-hunt... let's just say erm... it was tiring and exhausting and a little frustrating... but hey... not everyone is lucky enough to hit the nail on the head on their first day of job-searching... hope i'll have better luck tml! it had better be worth it coz i'm gonna have to give up my precious sleep to meet wei at such a forsaken hour of ninish in the morning! u pig!!!!!! someone help me... get me a machine that i'll just press and can have sleep and stay awake doing stuff at the same time! yea~ fat hope! the chances are slimmer than me! haha... not that i'm slim anyway... need to whip myself into shape soon! and no! i'm not talking about sado-masochism so keep your thoughts straight! haha...
i'm already not getting enough sleep as it is... only popping into my bed at 3 in the morning... sheesh... i've been almost living like an owl! but somehow, dun feel like sleeping so early coz i'll be thinking about a lot of things before i slipped into slumberland everyday... rather be up reading a book or watching tv coz then, i'll be occupied and i won't hu si ruan xiang so much... it's taxing on the nerves... and too much thinking is muddling me up... wondering about too many forbidden thoughts... suddenly... in a way... wish that i could turn the clock back and have put my feet down then... not that it's anyone's fault but i'm just a tat too sensitive... bought me too much agony coz i just keep thinking... i dunno... haiz...
anyway... gotta go and bath now... see ya~ and guys! take care!
P.S think i have a couple of things that i'll get him as a chrismas gift... but i'm in trouble... suddenly the term i learnt in primary sch 'as poor as a churchmouse' came up and ya... as u can guess... i'm really that mouse! sheesh... wat in the world am i to do!!!!!
