in a way

am happy today coz could meet him for a bit longer... it just seems so long ago... maybe 3 months or 4 months ago that we did really go on a PROPER date that like is more of leisure type... not this type of kinda rushed and tired one coz he's just too exhausted from work... wat to do... guess i'll have to like stay contented... it's not as if i have a choice...he has too many friends and let's just say 24 hrs per day is not enough for everyone and priority's not a choice though he's already trying...

told him about the dream... didn't exactly talked things out and didn't expect to have so little response... but then again, diff thinking coz to him, maybe it's like ridiculous to him but to me... think he won't be able to understand totally... not that i'm complaining... it's just i feel kinda frustrated in a way coz it's a sensitive topic that i think we both wanna avoid but still... somehow, it'll still be there... guess i'll just take step by step... anyway, no one said that a relationship would be smooth-sailing... wei said something to me... most pple dun last long coz pple change along the way and their other half sometimes just cannot take it... guess i understand that... it's like already 2 years plus... maybe this will be the worst that we have to weather through and after that, hopefully less nightmarish things will happen? i dunno... i'm crossing my fingers... 

had a long day today... met wei in the morning to go for job-hunt... let's just say erm... it was tiring and exhausting and a little frustrating... but hey... not everyone is lucky enough to hit the nail on the head on their first day of job-searching... hope i'll have better luck tml! it had better be worth it coz i'm gonna have to give up my precious sleep to meet wei at such a forsaken hour of ninish in the morning! u pig!!!!!! someone help me... get me a machine that i'll just press and can have sleep and stay awake doing stuff at the same time! yea~ fat hope! the chances are slimmer than me! haha... not that i'm slim anyway... need to whip myself into shape soon! and no! i'm not talking about sado-masochism so keep your thoughts straight! haha... 

i'm already not getting enough sleep as it is... only popping into my bed at 3 in the morning... sheesh... i've been almost living like an owl! but somehow, dun feel like sleeping so early coz i'll be thinking about a lot of things before i slipped into slumberland everyday... rather be up reading a book or watching tv coz then, i'll be occupied and i won't hu si ruan xiang so much... it's taxing on the nerves... and too much thinking is muddling me up... wondering about too many forbidden thoughts... suddenly... in a way... wish that i could turn the clock back and have put my feet down then... not that it's anyone's fault but i'm just a tat too sensitive...  bought me too much agony coz i just keep thinking... i dunno... haiz...

anyway... gotta go and bath now... see ya~ and guys! take care!

P.S think i have a couple of things that i'll get him as a chrismas gift... but i'm in trouble... suddenly the term i learnt in primary sch 'as poor as a churchmouse' came up and ya... as u can guess... i'm really that mouse! sheesh... wat in the world am i to do!!!!!

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